Monday, January 30, 2006
tired....i am so tired i am ready to scratch my eyes out....or just fall right out of my chair.
my mom is back now, it is kind of nice to not be living alone. Especially in time for my birthday...i still dont know what mike is going to have planned for my birthday, I dont really know what I even want to do so I am really not a big help with this subject. I want to go to duluth this weekend but Nate is going to be out of town boarding, so maybe another weekend, but mike's friends are coming up next weekend. Maybe the next? hopefully sometime soon, I want to get a break from this town, and he would be a perfect vacation partner.
i feel like for the first time since paul that i have found somebody great. nothing against paul now, but he wasn't right for me, he was completely independent and just selfish, or completely into his career and not much else. the thing about life that i am starting to accept and love is that i HAVE learned from everybody i have come in contact with. I have been audience to horrible relationship errors/mistakes and also to great couples that are very very lucky to have found eachother.
i am far from perfect, probably even far from normal. I like what I like, when i like it, and how i like it....i won't bend over backwards for just anybody, but when I find people that I cherish I will do most anything to keep them happy and out of anything that would hurt them. this includes my girls, my family and now mike. He is now in my 'inner circle' as sam says. i have told him from the beginning of what i have done in my past and yet how i have changed overall. he was shocked to say the least that i came out and told him right away, and i could tell it wasn't anything that had ever crossed his mind before that someone would come out and share. but to tell the truth i am not ashamed of anything i have done. i have chose to do these things in my past whether i was drunk or not, i chose them. if someone is going to judge me on things i have done in the past and not on what i am doing now, then they are not for me, i do not care to be close to them. he accepts these things and is grateful for my honesty. but i told him to protect him from others, to try and protect him from what others will try and tell him as if to 'warn' him about me. as if people in college need help and to have warnings (let alone warnings from people that don't even know me), about supposed things that happened, like people can't change and learn from their mistakes and their environment. karma comes around, and karma can be a bitch, so i just will try and laugh about these people sharing lies and made up/exaggerated rumors, because it will get back to them in the long run.
|ericadawn |3:57 PM|
