Thursday, December 15, 2005
I haven't talked to tyson in a few days....he hasn't called and i had been the one trying to track him down all weekend.
After work yesterday I got to go and take a nap next to someone I never thought I would ever talk to again, he was sweet this time, he hugged me and looked at me liked he really had missed me. While we napped he put his arm around me and we nuzzled next to eachother as if nothing had happened...as if the world, and all of it's mistakes and anger, finally let us have an hour to enjoy eachother..without words. After the nap the questions came back to me, questions I would only have if I distrusted the person...and I do....I was reminded of all the things I can't believe now, and all the ways that I felt mislead and embarassed.
There are people I have automatically shut out, many people that don't deserve to be and many that do. Sorry...I guess...that is just how I am and what I have really become. Through trials, tears and mistrust, my 'default' is to have the walls up and sturdy.
He text me again, he still believes in me after I have put him aside also. After I told him on Monday that I would call him, and I never did.
|ericadawn |11:20 AM|
