Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Ty says:
Ebb was showing me all of his pics from his trip to South Africa, that looks like alot of fun
barb says:
yeah sounds fun
barb says:
you going to go there now?
Ty says:
maybe, I have other places in mind first though
barb says:
yeah i figured
barb says:
that is why we wouldn't work out....
barb says:
you are always going going going
Ty says:
I know, I'm sorry, for the both of us, I'll settle down once I do a few things, hopefully anyways
barb says:
yeah...
barb says:
well at least we can stay good friends through it all
Ty says:
I hope so, just the things I want to do, they make my mom cry,and I don't want anyone else to cry over just me is all
Ty says:
not saying you would
Ty says:
but I don't want anyone to have to worry about me
barb says:
yeah...
barb says:
well you do your thing...you always have
Ty says:
yeah I know, I figure you only live once, so I go by that sometimes
Ty says:
but I end up passing up on alot of great things
barb says:
yeah
Ty says:
who wants to be with a carzy guy like me anyways
barb says:
oh boo
Ty says:
but you better be there for me when I need you
barb says:
i will always be here for you
barb says:
and i will always try and support whatever you want to do
barb says:
just like you would be for me
Ty says:
I always have, right?
barb says:
yes
Ty says:
awesome
Ty says:
well now I can tell you some maybe big news then
Ty says:
I might be moving to Alaska
barb says:
for what?
Ty says:
Their are a couple of Army bases up there I might get stationed at
barb says:
oh ok
Ty says:
I'm not 100% sure yet though
barb says:
well how sure are you?
Ty says:
the army is slow about everything I've come to find out
barb says:
i just hope that you know i probably wont be around here after i graduate
barb says:
so by the time you get back....i may not be around here waiting anymore
Ty says:
where are you headed?
barb says:
idk
barb says:
but i am just saying
barb says:
my job....with my degree i could make big bucks in a bigger city
Ty says:
yeah I hear ya there, do what is best for you
barb says:
i may be with someone by then, maybe engaged...or completely moved on.....what then tyson
Ty says:
If I'm still around, I'll still be there for you
barb says:
still around?
Ty says:
i said I have some crazy stuff I want to do
barb says:
the BEAR HUNTING THING????
Ty says:
as long as I am still breathing, I'll be there for you
Ty says:
Well bear hunting, and other things
barb says:
like what?
Ty says:
ever since I got back from basic, I've wanted to go to Iraq
Ty says:
like really bad, it's weird
Ty says:
I think it would be an awesome adrenaline rush
Ty says:
you there?
barb says:
yes
Ty says:
okay
Ty says:
thats the type of thing I don't want people to worry about
barb says:
k
Ty says:
you okay? you seem to have lost your early morning spunk
barb says:
yuh
Ty says:
tired?
barb says:
not too bad
Ty says:
ahh okay
barb says:
i'm kinda pissed at you
barb says:
you were gone for how long
barb says:
and now you dont even call to hang out
barb says:
you have hung out with EVERYONE else for a lot of time....and not with me
barb says:
so when you go away again dont tell me that you miss me and stuff
Ty says:
I've hung out with alot of people yes, but I've spent most of my time at home
barb says:
cause i will remember that when you were here you didn't act like it
barb says:
and this is making me realize that i need to move on for good
barb says:
with what you are saying tonight and what you still want to do..it is worse then i thought
barb says:
you are hurting people close to you.....and yet we just love you to pieces.....and yet
barb says:
someday...maybe when you come back maybe i will be married...
barb says:
and that doesn't seem to bug you
Ty says:
Do what you want then, I've been gone along time and I've missed you and about a thousand other people, I'm just trying to have fun is all. Reality has set in, in my mind. and the reality is that I could possibly die when I leave here. I'm not trying to hurt anyone Erica, I'm sorry I've hurt you in the past, I've tried to earn from those mistakes, and when I leave I don't want to hurt anyone by do
Ty says:
so
Ty says:
So if I seem greedy please by all means let me know, but I am not trying to hurt you or anyone else close to me
barb says:
i am not saying that
barb says:
i love you.
barb says:
that is all
barb says:
so do what you want
Ty says:
thats the thing, I only have so much time to do what I want, after that time expires I'll be taking orders that I have to follow
barb says:
yeah i know
barb says:
and this is just shocking to me
barb says:
dont get mad at me for telling you what i feel either
Ty says:
I'm not getting mad
Ty says:
I've just been taking alot of hits from people lately telling me what I should do and what I shouldn't
barb says:
i am not telling you anything except do what you want
Ty says:
not something I wanted to hear when I came home
Ty says:
I know, sorry I kinda blew up
barb says:
yeah well people also were so happy to have you home that we thought we would have more time with you
barb says:
and for someone to choose to go over to iraq i will never understand
barb says:
you know how after someone commits suicide, people always get kind of frustrated saying that that person was selfish making their family go through that.....
Ty says:
IT's not really a choice, I've just put it in my mind cause I have to go over there sooner or later
Ty says:
yeah I know
barb says:
you dont know that yet
Ty says:
yes I do
barb says:
k
Ty says:
the only way around it is to leave the u.s. and become a fugitive, not a good choice if ya ask me
barb says:
okay
Ty says:
so i'm trying toget my mind set that it won't be that bad
barb says:
okay
Ty says:
so don't be pissed at me please, we both know I have some whacky things going on in my head
|ericadawn |2:37 AM|
