Sunday, August 21, 2005
so the updates since the last post: I broke up with Seth! That is a big enough update....let me explain...
Friday night went really well, he called me up, asked me what I wanted to do...we rented Be Cool and had a blast laughing at it.
Yesterday, I got all dolled up for him...to meet him and his best friend Eric and his girlfriend Lisa at GreenMill since Seth had pretty much told me I had to meet him (I mean I wanted to anyways but he made me say it that I would) Seth is wasted by about eight o'clock when I meet him...he is yelling and laughing at the top of his lungs in the restaurant...which is fine, I love how open and outgoing he is...even if it is super super loud. I had a couple beers.....then we go back to his house, and he drinks a bit more...fine...some friends show up and we hang out...Seth doesn't even acknowledge that I am still there. By the time we leave to go to the bars an hour later he hasn't spoken more than a sentence or two to me. I drove him and another guy to the bars, when I got in a parking spot he hops out. I had to strap my shoes on but he is already out the door and halfway up the street by then. I am so sick of his crap by this time, how he acted like I am not there whatsoever....I called and talked to Kelly, and when he gets back from stopping at the ATM I start walking away from him, he asks me if I am going to the bar and I say NO...and so he kept walking to catch up with his friends. I called him on my way out, crying by now...and told him I was going home, he said okay, didn't care at all....then I say that we shouldn't be together anymore and he says "fine." Doesn't ask why, I told him though that it was because he had changed...he was different...
The thing that hurt was that he DID NOT care at all that I had just broken up with him. I HAD really liked him. I cried after I hung up...I cried hard....maybe because I had a few beers in me, or maybe just because I felt that I had been hurt by another guy..... Now, today, I do not feel like crying, I am not even sad about it, I got my tears out last night and I am past it.
I am solo again, maybe this is best. Maybe I wont have anyone to cuddle with or do anything I want with, like play basketball at the park, laugh my ass off with, or just kiss and hold... BUT it has to be okay for now. The next time I feel myself falling for someone, even if he does seem great and worthy of it...I won't let it happen because for some reason it is not in my cards.
|ericadawn |1:14 PM|
