i guess my blogs are pretty dang boring talking about work and whatever else.....
but to tell the truth i just don't know what to say...
i feel that columbus is a different world...i am finding people that i like and people that i really just don't.....life is moving on as always, like i can hear the ticking of the clock. my mind and body don't know whether to settle here for a few more months or just be waiting on the balls of my feet ready to leave this place ready to go back....
when i think about this whole thing, how i got here and how lucky i am to be able to do this....it makes me wonder, maybe i am thinking too much about home and not letting myself live here, experience things here....
but i miss my friends and my family....so how can i know when it is time to leave and when it is too early to have experienced what i came here to experience.
some of my posts are real B.S. they don't tell what i feel because sometimes i just really don't know what to feel, what is right to feel, or even have the energy to feel. i think right now maybe this is just my time to improve myself, by being away from school and other conflictions to focus on myself.
in life, my life, i have realized that is the hardest thing to do, focus on myself, and not just push myself into other things. i have never really been a person to enjoy a lot of time to myself without just going to sleep....i have wanted to be busy busy busy...... in my twenty one years i still haven't figured out how to be happy with myself, alone, thinking about things of my own, not about others.....
when i jog now, i find it hard to focus on thoughts, i used to be amazing at spacing out and dwelling on other things when i would run..... but now i feel that my deep thoughts are pushed back so far that i don't know how to bring them out.....all i am saying in my head it "......think.....think of something to think about......uhmmm........"
Comments:
E-Spank, we love you. Just as you're having problems in Columbus, you had them here too. Nowhere is going to be perfect.
The thing is, though... You have people in both places who love you very much, and really, that's all that will matter in the end.
To be honest with you, having you gone has made me appreciate you even more. We had our differences, obviously, in our personal and social lives... and I know it wasn't always easy for you talk to me about things. I feel like I'm growing up fairly quickly, though, and I'm learning to deal with people and my differences with them in more productive ways.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that everyone wants you to be happy. We miss having you around and would love you have you back, but your happiness and emotional security are what need to be in the forefront right now.
If you ever wanna talk, just CALL. Nicole and I felt sorry for ourselves and fell asleep watching a chick-flick last night, and we would've liked nothing more but to have you there with us!
Thinking about you, little lady.
Post a Comment
The thing is, though... You have people in both places who love you very much, and really, that's all that will matter in the end.
To be honest with you, having you gone has made me appreciate you even more. We had our differences, obviously, in our personal and social lives... and I know it wasn't always easy for you talk to me about things. I feel like I'm growing up fairly quickly, though, and I'm learning to deal with people and my differences with them in more productive ways.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that everyone wants you to be happy. We miss having you around and would love you have you back, but your happiness and emotional security are what need to be in the forefront right now.
If you ever wanna talk, just CALL. Nicole and I felt sorry for ourselves and fell asleep watching a chick-flick last night, and we would've liked nothing more but to have you there with us!
Thinking about you, little lady.
