Tuesday, February 22, 2005
I never thought that I would be up and down...I never expected things to be so unexpected....never thought that making new friends would be in comparison to my already good friends......never thought this...never wanted to let this all in.
My days go by, I try to find a job, I try to push out the bad, keep it out of my head....but then I have an off-day and it comes crashing in. When I hang out with new people lately, all I can think is that i don't click with them....how they are all comfortable with eachother, and how comfortable I was with my own friends.....I want this comfort with people here but that will only happen in time.....time right now is my enemy. For things like bills time flies by, for things like getting a job, or just not having one that will work out, time flies by even faster. For things like making friends that I love, that will come in the time that happens to drag along.
Time hates me and I hate it right back.....but when I look into Paul's eyes, I don't think of how horrible things can be, they push themselves back...to the back of my mind.....he is my savior, he saves me from letting these things take over, he puts strength and love back into my heart, but as the days go by, the seconds tick by during the work day of his, when I am sitting here, they slowly leak out.....he is my addiction possibly, to hear his laugh and to kiss his lips makes me lose myself, or possibly it helps me find the part of myself that i search for when I am weak.
|ericadawn |4:07 PM|
